


Dawn of Faith

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Series: Goddess!Nona AU [2]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Deity!au, F/M, Leaden Key Wins And Woedica Is Restored AU, No Watcher AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23076022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: It seems Nona wants his weakness, his doubts, his exhaustion. Not the moments when he gets up to continue his journey, but when he falters and almost falls – and what she wants is for him to let her keep him standing. A peculiar wish, from a goddess.
Relationships: Thaos ix Arkannon/Original Character(s), Thaos ix Arkannon/Woedica
Series: Goddess!Nona AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1659865
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: TTRPG Godsquad





	Dawn of Faith

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aban_ataashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/gifts).



> _I have so many Feels about Taashi's wonderful[goddess!Nona AU fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23067667)..._ ❤︎

He would kneel – to greet her properly, now that she is no longer a mere mortal but divine. To ask for forgiveness properly – because for some of the things he has done and made her do, even that would not be enough. But he senses she does not want any of that.

Neither does she want any offerings – not yet. She will learn that, eventually, like all the others did. Some make demands, like Woedica and Magran; some are content with accepting what is given to them, like Hylea; some simply wait and take, like Rymrgand and Berath. Some do all of those things in different measures, like Wael.

Woedica wants his sacrifices and strength of will, devotion to his duties, the copper threads binding the cracked adra of his soul together, the force with which he grasps his thoughts and carefully puts each of them in its place. This has been the essence of his lives – existence – for so long, and it will still continue to be so, as long as Woedica’s will must be done, and thus he will forever belong to her. She chose Nona, and allowed them to meet, and he would be grateful for that alone, even if there were no other memories he is grateful for as well.

But Nona... It seems Nona wants his weakness, his doubts, his exhaustion. Not the moments when he gets up to continue his journey, but when he falters and almost falls – and what she wants is for him to let her keep him standing. A peculiar wish, from a goddess.

Perhaps what she truly wants is his surrender – acknowledging that she has been right all along, that he does need help and someone to worry for him. But he has never denied any of that, not truly, and Nona knows it. He accepted as much from her as he could, and never took more than she offered, but it was too much anyway.

She knows everything now – can see it in his soul, even things he would never be able to put into words. And she still reaches out and offers him her love.

He has been loved like that before, unconditionally, despite the mysteries he kept hidden, despite the truths he could not share. Once, ages and lifetimes away from now; he could never appreciate that love as it deserved, before the truth spilled out and broke that soul – but not the feeling. And then again, by Nona, when she was still a mortal – always by his side, always ready to help even if she was not fully aware what that would mean.

But this is... different. It is one thing to love despite secrets, filling the silences and empty spaces with guesses. It is another to know the truth and all his deeds and all his reasons, and still love despite that. He has never experienced something like this before.

Oh, yes, Woedica accepts him, too, and she is fond of him, in a way. But that is not love; he made peace with that long ago. His Queen accepts because all he has done has been in her service, what she has demanded of him, because he is always doing her will.

With others... He kept the secrets buried because of his vows, not to make himself more appealing. But being a cipher, he knows precisely why his lovers fell for him, why those who remained loyal did so; he often used that knowledge to his advantage, because they were useful for the Leaden Key’s – Woedica’s – plans. But the truth...

It is impossible to look past some things; even when the eyes are turned away, the mind remembers. There are some deeds that cannot be forgiven, cannot be pushed aside and forgotten as if they never existed. They leave traces in the matter of the soul. If there are too many, over time traces become scars, and all that remains is a ruin, broken shards that stab and cut and sooner or later it always end in pain. There was just one time when it happened – ages and lifetimes away from now – and even though the curtain was barely lifted back then, he still remembers how it ended and has to remind himself he cannot afford to feel guilty about it.

But now... Nona knows _everything_. And she forgives him, and she _understands_ all that happened and all he did was necessary, and he is not certain which is more important. She can see all his failings and regrets and _sins_ – and she still wants that. To put her hands around the low-burning embers of his faith and make sure it never dies out. To breathe on it softly and kindle a small flame, just enough to give warmth.

She was doing that, in all the years they were together. She thought he loved her, but still she did not fully grasp the significance of her presence in his life. Their purpose might have been constructed, but Nona reminded him that there could be _meaning_. That all was not in vain; that they might have built on ashes but things can _grow_ even on that.

Now she can see it. She could do it on her own, of course, but Thaos still opens his soul to her. There is very little he can give aside from the truth, and his truths have always been bitter. But Nona has never been afraid of that, even when it hurt her.

She knows, she understands – and still she chooses to reach out and put her arms around him. And now she feels the weight of his soul and his burden, and she has enough power to hold him up.

So Thaos holds on to her, closes his eyes, and leans in and against her with a deep sigh that might be a wordless, grateful prayer.


End file.
